Panic hits Somerset
Sunday 1st April 2012
Rumours of an imminent shortage of AC-S knitting kits have sparked a flood of panic-fuelled kit sales, as concerned knitters rush to stock up. A Government spokesman said: ‘in the event of a petrol shortage, people are worried that they will be stuck in their houses and that they won’t have anything to do. AC-S kit sales have soared and now the real threat is that these will run out. Please don’t buy more than 3 kits per household. This kind of panic-buying is dangerous and inconsiderate, if everyone just buys a few kits, there will be plenty to go round. Our advice remains the same as ever: only buy 3 kits at a time, and do not store them near your petrol stash.’
Not really. April Fools. It’s fine, you can buy as many as you like!
However, not to be left out, in an outbreak of panic-buying, the following items have been acquired and hoarded at Crowther-Smith Towers:
1) washing-up liquid. I don’t know why, but I like to have plenty of washing-up liquid in the house, specifically in the cupboard under the sink. I prefer Fairy Liquid by the way but I am not being paid by the multi-gazillion dollar organisation that makes this product. I just like it best. Ideally, I’d have 1 bottle ‘on the go’ and at least 3 but preferably 4 in the cupboard, ready. I used to need 6 but years of therapy and Mark assuming grocery shopping duties has eased this somewhat.
2) loo roll. A habit inherited from my parents, along with paranoia about getting lost on car journeys, being late and making left-overs into a whole new food group. I like to have at least 10 rolls – in each lavatory space, so that’s 30 ish at any given time. When my parents were old and about to move from Manchester to be down here, I found a stash of loo rolls in a storage space of their loft, there must have been 100 rolls. All peach coloured. But they were Andrex so it wasn’t all bad.
3) random toiletries. I have a wicker storage chest that I fill to the brim with ‘spare’ items such as mouth wash, toothpaste, shampoo, face cream etc. A swift audit of this chest reveals that there is currently an over-supply (5 bottles) of sun-tan lotion, factor 5,000. Well, as you know I don’t tan, I freckle. Let’s hope the summer is good and hot. However, I am down to the last matching shampoo and conditioner combo which is making me a bit anxious (writes these items on list).
4) night-lights. You know those squat candles in tin holders that you put in glass burners. I have 2 kinds: Citronella (summer-house stash) and plain (dining room). I like to have a bag of 100 of each to hand.
5) Tuc Cheese Sandwich biscuits:
This is a new hoarding habit. I simply love these biscuits, they are so crisp and the ‘cheese’ filling is so weirdly orange and non-cheesey – well, more salmon pink. And they taste of childhood. And of being a student, too. As does boil-in-the-bag fish in parsley sauce, bleugh. I like to have 3 packs of Tuc in the cupboard, this can be relaxed to include the open one, which I seal with sellotape.
Which leads me to:
6) sellotape (and other related stationary). I’m struggling to keep on top of this as I never, ever use paper-clips anymore yet I find myself compelled to buy them when I am in W H Smith. I also love buying luggage labels with string; actual string; reams of white paper; folders and binders; staples; and cardboard.
Do you hoard or comfort-stash some perhaps oddly random items? Please say you do even if it’s not true and then, please tell me what they are.
Right, I’m off to nibble a Tuc and count my post-it note pads.
I hoard knitting yarn – how weird is that!!!!
I can’t tell you how much I am craving Tuc biscuits, now that you have reminded me of their existence!
You won’t be surprised to learn that I stockpile chocolate… And also cupcake cases.
cup-cake cases! novel – but cool. Now I know where to go in case of a global shortage XXX
oh – and yeah Sue that’s like totally weird, hoarding yarn. Man, what’s THAT about?
*slinks off to stroke the packs of KSH and Felted Tweed*
In my defence – you taught me all I know – lol!
I know and I’m so proud of you! X