Conversations with Lily #7

Friday 21^st November 2014

Driving lessons have begun. Lily:  OMG I am so awesome, I drove to Taunton today and no-one died Me:  result Lily:  well, thanks for that enthusiastic reception. I drove to Taunton and it was raining and I did the Wicks roundabout – twice Me: I’m proud.  Especially as your first few lessons triggered migraines, panic attacks and tears – and that was just your instructor – LOLLLL! Lily:  don’t say LOLLLL Mum Me:  why not? Lily:  it’s lame, don’t do it Me: Lily:  my teacher says I need more practice in our car Me:  OK, I can do that Lily:  I was going to ask Dad – and Florence Me:  but I can also take you driving, right?  I took Florence Lily:  once.  You took her once, to Pets at Home car park and then made her get out of the driving seat so you could drive home.  She drove, like, 200 meters… Me (successfully resisting urge to say ‘like 200 meters, as in similar to 200, for example, 201 meters…?):  that’s only part of the story.  There were ‘hot rods’ in the car park – it wasn’t safe Lily:  whatever, I want to do the driving with Dad.  Or Florence Me:  not with me? Lily:  no Me:  why not? Lily: you will scream. Then I will possibly crash Me:  I won’t scream Lily:  you always scream at stuff Me:  that’s simply not true Lily:  you screamed once when Dad was reversing the car and made him crash into a skip.  On our drive Me:  I didn’t make him crash, I screamed because he was going to crash – and he did Lily:  also, who says ‘hot rod’?? Geez, Mum Me:  I will take you driving round the villages.  And Bridgwater Lily:  no Mum, I know you will really freak out.  You scream when someone walks into your office, you scream on the childrens’ rides at the fair, you scream if you see a wasp, and mainly, you scream in cars Me:  not when I’m driving Lily:  which proves my point.  The whole point is that I get to drive.  It’ll put me off. You’re a screamer Me:  I have never screamed at a workshop – or come to that, in any work situation –  except once when a wasp got into the shop where I was teaching Lily:  well done, Mum, for not screaming at your knitters Me:  thanks Me:  can I sit in the back? I could knit Lily:  no.  It’s not happening Me:  it’s my car.  It’s not Dad’s car or Florence’s car Lily:  oh I see! It’s your car now, is it?  It wasn’t *your* car when Dad brought it home, was it?  You didn’t want it then, did you? Me:  well, I was annoyed that he just bought a car, which I was paying for, and it was ORANGE. But I’ve got used to it now and it’s faded a bit… Lily:  you can watch me drive off.  With Dad.  Or Florence Me:  I’m actually quite hurt Lily (sighing): Me:  so…this means you will never be able to drive me, even if you pass? Lily:  if?  If?  IF? Me:  well, your chances are better with me than with Dad.  I passed first time, he passed second time! Lily:  God, Mum.  That was centuries ago!  It’s all different now Me:  in what way?  Are the roads paved with gold?  Do the cars have more or fewer wheels…? Lily (interrupting, and also leaving my office):  nice use of ‘fewer’, Mum, well done…